There are two reasons why I don't drive: I can't drive, and the other reason: the 3-million strong population who can drive. To my credit, I did try to learn to drive - twice. First time with my brother, who turned the car around in the garage (so that I wouldn't be beginning my lessons learning how to reverse). Well, I did make the car move a little, till I saw it was heading straight for the tree across the road. I took my hands off the wheel and told my brother to take over. To cut a long story short, he did. In hindsight, it must have been difficult for him to put one leg across and brake, for the car was a Standard Gazel that has a floor shift gear. Anyway that was the end of Lesson No. 1.

The next opportunity came years later when my husband had taken up a project in the Andhra countryside. There was a lot of open space, a whole lot of boredom, me, my husband and our car. Put it all together and I had this sudden whim to drive. The basics done (like the different gears, when to take your foot off the clutch, how to co-ordinate your hands, feet and all five senses to get the car going), I took the wheel. My husband is pretty possessive about his car and I have always been treated like a passenger. It didn't help one bit when the car kept stalling. My fault, he said, that I didn't know how to handle a car. And that was the end of Lesson No. 2.

Now, about the other reason: the 3-million strong maniacal army on wheels. Beats me why every two-bit who owns a vehicle thinks he owns the road. Shoving is the rule of the road, and the bigger vehicle wins - all the time. Take an average day on any average road. At the traffic signal, while all vehicles wait (not so patiently), there will be at least a couple of them honking their lives out. Pray, would honking in any way cause the traffic lights to change?

And then there is the other breed - the bus driver. Forget traffic signals, lane discipline or road rules, he rules the road. He is the guy blocking your way when you want to turn right and the right turn signal is on. He is occupying your space while waiting for his signal to go straight. The same guy inches close to your vehicle while you wait patiently at the signal. For he is in a hurry to go while you, the law-abiding citizen, wait like most others for the right signal. Following the 'big is might' theory, he usually moves threateningly close, revs up his engines, honks noisily till you, feeling threatened, move a little forward. Does it help? The bus just moves closer. The bus driver is not obliged to follow lane discipline (other road users are usually fined if they don't). In a multi-lane stretch with a dedicated bus lane, the bus driver still selects a lane with the least amount of traffic. After all, he is a busy man, has a long way to go and well, he drives a bigger vehicle.

Then there is the driver who doesn't know the dimensions of his own vehicle. So when he takes his car out on the road, make sure you don't, and if you must, steer clear of him. He is the guy who swipes your tail-light at the parking lot while trying to squeeze into a parking spot. Not to speak of the numerous times he has scraped past other vehicles while negotiating through traffic. Of course he shouldn't be there on the road in the first place, but then who cares? Not the guy who gave him his driving license anyway.

Of all the categories, the one I fear the most is the guy who doesn't know how to drive, even though he sits at the wheel. This category accounts for at least 70% of all road users. Typical symptoms include driving slowly in the middle of a crowded highway, blocking the passage of vehicles on either side, overtaking from the left (to the American, yes, we drive like the Brits, on the wrong side of the road!), honking incessantly, driving in fits and bursts, using the entire width of a 50 feet wide road while taking a U-turn, taking sudden turns without warning, screeching brakes and more.

There was this guy the other day who got so engrossed talking to his co-passenger that he didn't realise he was slowly driving right down the middle of the road, with a whole lot of vehicles behind him honking wildly. Of course, our man was not listening. More troubling was the news item that caught my eye recently. This particular driver was talking on his mobile phone and didn't realise his car had slipped off the road and got on to the pavement. No damage to his car, but he did send a couple of pedestrians to the hospital.

That's why I would rather be the anonymous person sitting in the passenger seat, who gets to enjoy the view while the other guy drives. I get the ride. He gets the stress. Think about it.