When I wake up from the dream,
I ask myself, "Why am I still alive?"
I ask God to forgive me
For all my dreadful deeds.

I wash my face into the street,
And in the mirror
I see no sign,
No sign of joy.

Neat and tidy, I walk into the street,
That welcomes me with a smile
A smile that I never understood
And will never understand.

Flattering tongues I meet,
Icy words they pour,
I melt without reason
And pay the price.

In the rocking chair, I sit
Watching the night sky
And thinking about myself
I cry and cry.

Days and nights pass by,
But things don’t change;
I hope for the better
But receive the worst.

I keep the gun
On my temple;
My finger trembles
When I touch the trigger.

On my bed, I lay
With tears on my pillow
Deep inside me, I say,
"Kill yourself."