(Written over one long bitter weekend...
...by a mother of two teenaged girls!)

1. On a holiday, never rise before 10 a.m. Bathe only after noon and only after you've been told to do so 15 times. You are forbidden to leave the bathroom in less than 45 minutes and you should never remove all traces of your presence.

2. When your mother has taken special care over a dish, make sure you either wrinkle your nose and say it tastes a little medicinal or consider it in silence for a few minutes before pronouncing it undercooked.

3. Never volunteer to help with domestic chores unless you know they've been done. If you're told to do something, make sure you have a book in your hand so you can turn around and say petulantly, "I'm studying, can't you see?"

4. Always wear white when you are going to roll on the grass or do something dusty.

5. Lock yourself into a room 'to study' and the smaller the house, the more important this rule is.

6. The telephone has been installed solely for your convenience. Make sure that other people don't get to use it.

7. Never let your mother get away with thinking she's well-dressed; comment on her shoes, her clothes, her double chin, her extra weight, especially when she's going out. Neither can parents be allowed to think they know a lot; keep them informed on their lack of general knowledge, especially when it comes to computers.

8. Dress in your parent's clothes - this rule can be broken on special occasions when you can wear your own. Of course you should never wear that special expensive dress you pleaded so much to buy more than once.

9. Have at least one fight with your sibling everyday and retreat into sulky silence when reprimanded. (There are no exceptions to this rule.)

10. Don't be seen in public with your parents if you can help it.
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