I really shouldn't be writing about the elections. I am hardly an authority on the subject except that I have been neighbours with Dr.JJ in her heyday and am currently Mr. K's neighbour. Or is that Dr.K. (I use short-forms of their names not because I'm on a nick-name basis with them but because they have such tedious names and odious titles.) And my location of habitation is pure coincidence and the shifting political allegiance of my parents.

Now I don't even know if I am going to vote. I'm not fed up with the choice of candidates or political parties. In fact I have a lively interest in campaign slogans. I have actually seen a "Veni, Vidi, Vici" campaign slogan of hers in Poes Garden! That was below a line that said "Like a Phoenix she rises from the ashes". Unfortunately I don't read Tamil for I'm sure the slogans are even more entertaining if not bizarre.

This year I also have an interesting choice of candidates. The AIADMK's Chief Ministerial candidate is not eligible for contesting in the election because she is a convicted felon. Never one to be cowed down by such small obstacles, she has asked the voters to imagine that she is indeed a candidate and bravely cast their votes. And she can in fact become Chief Minister if the Governor pardons her. Her case gives an entirely new dimension to democracy.

The other major candidate is our Mayor of "Singara Chennai" fame. I read a very flattering write-up on him in India Today. Did you know that he won the National Mayor award? Yes, there is such a thing. But tell me why would anybody burden their child with a name that most folks associate with a person known for executing thousands of people? Our Mayor has had his share of notoriety and today he is presented as a youthful, environmental-conscious, techno-savvy scion of a great political lineage.

Coming to the reason I do not want to vote. I have as much interest in politics and political parties as they have in me. No government has made a difference to my life. I hear that it makes a difference to the lives of policemen and auto-rickshaw drivers. Depending on whether the party they support is in power they can sit back and enjoy the fruits of extortion.

I do not want to vote because I'm miffed with the political parties. To them I don't exist. No political party has campaigned to seek my vote. To matter to a political party I need to be poor and uneducated. I need to require money badly enough to suffer through their speeches and false promises knowing fully well that my life is not going to improve because of any party. Since I have been fortunate enough to be born into a family that could afford to educate me I don't count among the voting denizens.

They don't care about my vote. So I'm not giving it to them.