There comes a time in the life of most girls when they have to be "seen" by boys. This is the way most folks in India have got married and with great success. Our divorce rates are very low and marriage is still a highly respected institution in this country. But still most girls of my generation shudder when they hear the words "Boy has an MS in the US, works for IBM, very good family.....".

Being "seen" is a long process. First the "girl" will be told of the "boy's" academic successes. (For reasons unknown the prospects are always referred to as "Boy" and "Girl" irrespective of age). Then the photographs will be shown. "Boy" will beam from various locales in the US. Sometimes he will be sporting a Stetson, sometimes he will be scaling the Rockies. I have a feeling that if the "boys" knew that such pictures of them were being circulated they would want to creep into the nearest available hole.

Next the girl will be appraised of his virtues - god-fearing, teetotaler, non-smoker. Sometimes 'vegetarian' is thrown in. Sometimes these virtues are summed up as 'clean habits'. Oh! And I must mention that most of the US types have an affinity to charitable institutions. Proud parents would have mentioned their son's bleeding-heart tendencies. These virtues in a girl are a given. Nobody wants to know if the girl enjoys a social drink or the occasional smoke. Imagine her horror when presented with this holier-than-thou prospect.

Next if Mr. Boy has not yet arrived from the US, the parents will come for a look-see trip. Depending on the parent's level of sophistication various questions will be asked. Some will get downright archaic and ask the girl if she can cook or sing. She will want to say "No" as it is not her chosen vocation, if she can get over the shock of being asked about it so bluntly. Girls don't think its infra-dig to be able to cook. Cooking is a useful skill but not a qualification to be married.

If both sides are fine with the fact-finding mission, Mr. Boy will arrive from the US and come to "see" the girl. She cannot protest unless she has very valid reason like she knows for a fact that the boy and his family are pathological murderers. The boy will arrive with a small army of relatives. In this day and age it seems bizarre that so many people have to be involved in a decision that rightfully should be only between the boy and girl. Surely if you are old enough to get married you are old enough to make that decision on your own. The assortment of relatives make the "seeing" process a circus. After some small talk, the relatives will ask the "boy" and "girl" to speak with each other. How can two people who barely know each other sum each other up as suitable partners under such trying circumstances I ask you?

By this time girl would have taken an active dislike to the boy for no fault of his own. The "seeing" process would have killed any spark that might have been there had they met in less stifling circumstances. The "boy" depending on his level of maturity and his understanding of the situation may ask questions. The US ones generally start with the cliche "This is really weird..." The girl will answer the questions mechanically counting the seconds for the harrowing, out-of-body experience to end. The "boy" will try to be large-hearted and tell the girl to "feel free" to ask him anything. She'll have a few sharp things to say but will hold her peace. Why prolong the agony?

After the polite good-byes you would think the episode has ended. Think again! The girl's parents will do a post-mortem of the meeting. They will also have their theories on what they think the boy and his family thought. Whether it will "click". By then the girl would have given up on imagining her parents capable of reason and would have retired to contemplate some devious, rebellious deed. Anyways, they can't force the girl to marry. Small mercies!