Bheja Vu by Mamta

The term déjà vu is French and means, literally, "already seen." Those who have experienced the feeling describe it as an overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all.

It was barely a few months ago that a certain new-kid-on-the-block with chocolate-boy looks captured your attention in a television ad. The next thing you knew, his face was being flashed all over music videos, first as a fashion photographer who finds his muse in a village and then as a dejected young man whose spouse leaves him. One video followed another, one ad followed another and pretty soon, our no longer 'new' kid on the block was onto his major break - a role in a prime time soap. Donning a starched white coat he is now either all set to woo your hearts or give you a severe case of déjà vu. Don't be surprised if in the near future you see him romancing the latest beauty-queen-turned-actress. It's but inevitable.

The rate at which Bollywood is churning out new heroes and heroines, it makes me wonder if we'll have an equal number of trees for them to dance around. You see, the number of trees being cut down all over the country is directly proportional to the rate at which new faces are storming Bollywood. As it is, I'm beginning to suspect that the only scenes shot in our country are the ones featuring the lead pair running around trees; the rest of the scenes are shot in exotic places like the Swiss Alps or New Zealand and hitherto-unheard-of islands whose tourism sales are being boosted by our producers and directors. I can almost see the picturisation of the title song of a future movie wherein the hero romances the heroine around a lamppost. Who knows this might even lead to designer lampposts flooding the markets!!

Now let's come back to the point in question for, you see, I tend to ramble on and go entirely off my chosen topic. Though there is such a huge churn-out of new faces, we seem to be seeing the same faces on every channel and every ad. First it was the 'K' word fixation in the name of every soap on TV. Then it's the faces of the members of the cast. No matter what soap you happen to be watching there's always a chance that you'll say, "Hey! That face looks familiar! I have seen her somewhere before," and if your wife looks suspiciously at you, you can shrug your shoulders sheepishly and say, "I meant I saw her in another serial." Now there's no telling if that will convince your wife but that's entirely up to how you do it. Sometimes the protagonists themselves get sick of causing déjà vu to the viewers and develop attacks of amnesia in the hope that it will affect the audiences too and thus prevent the viewers from getting sick of seeing their faces in every soap ad.

In case that doesn't work it means that the viewer is struck by the 'bheja vu' syndrome. This is a very unique syndrome that has started making its presence felt in the last few months. Some symptoms of this are:

Viewer wants to puke every time a certain member of the cast of a soap comes on screen; viewer tends to hallucinate to the extent that he sees the TV star in his own home right in front of him and faints due to the shock.

As of now there is no cure for the people afflicted by this syndrome. All one can do is to suggest that they take a no-TV vacation in some remote hill station.

However, let me also narrate one recent incident. Mr Mihir-Se-Pareshan-Hairan decided to take this advice and flew to a remote hill station after becoming sick of seeing the protagonist's face in Kyun ki Sahas bhi kabhi Shakti thi. But alas, to his extreme consternation, he found that the person occupying the adjacent suite was none other than the actor portraying the role of the protagonist. Last heard, Mr Pareshan was murmuring to himself, "bheja vu, bheja vu."