Why do Fools Fall in Love?

"Why do fools fall in love?" a friend once asked me. If it was meant to be a jab at me, it landed right on target, because it set my gray cells in action. Why, I wondered, do fools like me fall in love? I thought, and thought. And thought. I lost sleep over it. I could think of nothing else but that. And finally came up with a very convincing theory. Or so I thought.

The next morning, I called my friend and said, "Vas, I figured out why fools fall in love. Why don't we chew on it over a coffee?" Vas acquiesced.

We met that evening at a café down the road, and after exchanging pleasantries, settled down in a quiet corner. He ordered Cappuccino while I opted for Café Mercara and a few munchies to go with it.

"So… what's your million dollar theory?" Vas demanded once the waiter left.

"Well," I began. "Fools fall in love because they are all heart and no brain. Love requires you to think not intellectually, but emotionally," I substantiated.

Vas smiled viciously. Then he said, "Oh, so you agree you have no brain?"

I looked at him at length and finally said, "Well, sure, why not? I'd rather be called a fool in love than an intellectual who's never experienced that wonderful emotion. 'Coz I believe in the saying, 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'"

"Bullshit," Vas muttered.

"Not at all," I went on, "Love is a pure emotion and you have to be very strong to experience it in all its splendor."

Vas suddenly laughed. A bitter, hollow laugh.

Then he said, "Love is a killer. A slow one at that! Just like booze or cigs. Gets you hooked and ruins you entirely. That is why you can only fall in love. Have you ever heard of anyone rise in love?"

He paused, took out a cigarette and lit it. He took a deep puff and let out rings of smoke through his nostrils, sighing with satisfaction. He took a few more puffs and I watched him. Then, tapping the cigarette to the edge of the ashtray, he said, "There's no such thing called true love. It's only an illusion. Eternal love exists only in novels and movies. In real life, when routine knocks at the door, love flies out of the window!"

I was troubled by what he said. It set me thinking all over again. I had not thought of that… did that mean true love was absolutely non-existent? The apprehensive expression on my face seemed to urge Vas to go on, "There is no love anymore. There is only lust. People mistake attraction to be love and get carried away. They get physical. Most of the time, it's a case of 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am', and then they break up and move away from each other. That's what happens. No one really believes or follows stuff like 'eternal love' and 'emotional ties'. Get real."

Vas pressed the cigarette butt against the ashtray and leaned back in his seat, looking at me in an amused fashion. He seemed very self-assured. Just then the waiter arrived with our order.

Sipping his Cappuccino slowly, Vas looked away. There was a distant look in his eyes. He seemed to be contemplating something of tremendous significance. I cleared my throat in an attempt to draw his attention. But he seemed to be in a world of his own. There was profound melancholy in his eyes. He had probably experienced something painful that had left ugly scars on his mind. He was unusually silent too.

"Vas," I said softly.

He looked at me. It was only then that I noticed the tears in his eyes. "What's wrong, Vas? Why are you so upset? If you want to talk about it, I'm here," I said as gently as I possibly could.

"No, it's nothing," he said, trying to sound cheerful. "Isn't this a nice café?"

"Oh, Vas! Don't pretend. At least not with me. Remember our deal? We will never hold anything back from each other. Now, come on, out with it! You can trust me…"

"Of course I know I can trust you! It's just that I don't want to spoil a nice evening," he laughed. A fake chortle.

"Fine, if you don't want to talk about it," I said. Then I laid my hand on his, and said, "But if you ever decide to share it, I'm always here."

The rest of the evening was spent rather quietly, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally, we bade adieu and left.

The next morning, Vas called. "Priya, can we talk?"

The street was buzzing with activity. I wondered why Vas chose such a noisy place to discuss something serious. But I reserved my comments. Vas looked highly perturbed and I didn't intend to make things worse by complaining about the nitty-gritty details. It looked as if he had been drinking all night. His face was unshaven, and his hair was disheveled. He nervously ran his hand through his hair. Then he said, "Priya, I have been through hell. In fact, I still am going through it. But I was running away from it. Because I just didn't have the guts to face it. But yesterday, you got me thinking."

I looked at him anxiously. In all these years that I had known him, Vas had never looked so upset. He went on, "Last fall, my sister fell in love with her colleague, and decided to marry him. He was a Christian, and obviously there was a lot of resistance from both sides. Neither his parents agreed nor ours. Eventually, there was a big family drama and they called it quits. Three months later my sis discovered that she was pregnant. Our parents were left with precious little choice after that. And so they gave in. But when she got back to her lover, she found that he was engaged to another woman. She couldn't take it. She rushed back home and gulped a whole strip of tranquilizers. Fortunately we found out and quickly rushed her to the nursing home. But the overdose of pills made her brain dead. She is still in the same state, decomposing gradually in the hospital. Practically speaking, she's just a vegetable now," and he broke down.

I tried my best to comfort him. But it didn't help. I appeared to be aggravating the situation. "Vas," I breathed, "people are staring at us…"

"I care a damn!" he exploded. I was taken aback by his sudden outburst. Then he sobered down. He looked down at his palms and said softly, "I'm sorry. I... I just lost my cool. I have been under a lot of pressure. Emotionally. Physically. I can't bear to see my sister in this condition. And that's why I am so much against the concept of love. She was a fool to fall in love. Well, that's what she thought it was. Though it turned out to be something entirely different. That scoundrel just had his share of fun in the name of love and then dumped her."

I was at a loss for words. All I could do was sit and look at Vas helplessly. After what seemed like an eternity, Vas decided it was getting late, and offered to drop me off at my hostel.

~*~

"Hi, John," I squeaked cheerfully on the phone. "So, where are we meeting today?" When he hesitated for a long time, I asked, "What's the matter, honey? Is anything wrong?" John and I had been going around for a month and a half now. When I had told Vas about him, he had not been too enthusiastic. I had wished that he would probe further and ask for details. But Vas had been cold and uninterested then.

My thoughts drifted back to the present as John replied, "Priya, I have a confession." I waited impatiently for him to go on. But instead, he said, "Check your mail. I have written everything in detail in my mail. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And don't call me again."

The line went dead. I stood, thunderstruck, with the receiver still in my hand, my heart racing. "Don't call me again" kept ringing in my ears. What did he mean by that?

I was sobbing uncontrollably, as Vas tried to comfort me. He said, "Priya, calm down, and please tell me what's wrong."

"Vas, I…" I stuttered. Then I blew my nose long and hard into the handkerchief he gave me, and started, "John dumped me, Vas. I read his email just now…" I sniffed and took a deep breath. Then went on, "John says he never really loved me. It was just attraction. He fell for my gray eyes and nice figure. But then he realized his mistake when his old girlfriend came back to him and told him that her parents had agreed to their match. He claims that his feelings towards me were backed by a feeling of 'getting back' at her when she broke up with him. It was 'love on the rebound'. Now he says he has realized his folly and would like to get back to her. How could he do this to me… how…" and I started sobbing again.

"Wait a minute… what did you say his name was?" enquired Vas.

"John," I breathed between sobs, "John David."

"Does he work for Nexum Technologies?" asked Vas.

I looked at him with surprise. "But how do you know?"

"Because, my dear Priya, John David is the same guy my sister was in love with."

I was dumbfounded. I stared at him. Vas placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and whispered, "I am so sorry, Priya. John had come to the hospital this morning, and something miraculous happened. My sister, who has been comatose for a long time, regained consciousness. Things just seemed to have brightened up for us. But I feel awful that this has happened to you."

I got up and slowly walked away.

The days seemed to drag slowly, and I was miserable. I was beside myself with grief. I lost my appetite, and became insomniac. I could not concentrate on my work. Nothing seemed to interest me anymore. Finally, I decided enough was enough. I submitted my resignation letter at the office, and submitted all the relevant papers at the hostel. I was going back home. And it brought a smile back to my face. So what if I was running away? I didn't care. I was a fool to have fallen in love. I made a mistake. But I resolved never to repeat the mistake again. I picked up the receiver and dialed.

"Hello?" I cleared my throat, and said into the receiver, "Vas, I am leaving. I just called to say bye."

"Priya? You are leaving? Where to? And when are you coming back?" asked Vas.

I told him that I was going back home and that I would never come back.

"Priya! What are you talking about? Listen, we need to talk. You can't just go away like this," said Vas breathlessly.

"What's there to talk about?" I asked dejectedly.

"Priya, please. Let's meet once. Just once, at the coffeehouse near the Shiva temple. Please."

"Ok," I agreed. Meeting Vas wouldn't hurt. Besides, I could say my goodbyes in person.

Half an hour later, Vas and I were seated at the coffeehouse.

"Priya, you can't give up so easily. You are a fighter. At least the Priya I know is a brave woman. Don't run away from your problems. And you are not the first person in the world to have lost in love. Besides, John was never meant for you. You will find someone better. Much better, believe me. We all have our share of heartache before we find our soul mate. So don't be an escapist. Live it up before you give it up," Vas was saying.

I didn't care. I didn't even look at his face. I sipped my coffee quietly, tears welling in my eyes.

"Priya," Vas said softly, taking my hand in his. "Priya, I know this is terrible for you. But give yourself a second chance. Stay here. Don't run away. Troubles are magnified when you try to avoid confronting them. Face it, and you will emerge strong and successful."

"But what is the use…?" I said remorsefully.

"Priya, listen to me. John is not the end of the world. Nor is he the only guy in the world. You are beautiful, talented and independent. Guys would queue up to get your attention!"

"Ha ha!" I said, in mock laughter. "Really? I don't believe that, " I said.

"Come on, Priya, any guy would fall head over heels in love with you!"

"Any guy?"

"Yes!"

"Even you?"

"Yes!"

Suddenly Vas realized what he had said. "I mean…"

I looked at Vas closely. He was avoiding my eyes now. "Even you, Vas?" I asked, a trifle amused.

"It's getting late. We better leave now," Vas said.

Two days later, Vas proposed to me. Somehow, I was not surprised. In fact, I had been expecting this. I had been thinking about him over the past two days. And I realized that of all the men in my life, I had known Vas the longest. I had shared everything with him. When he was transferred, I had wept. So much that I had fallen sick. And finally, I had taken a job in Bangalore for the sole reason that Vas was there. He had always mattered a lot to me. And only now I realized what it meant. I had covered it up as mere friendship. But it was love. A love so profound that I had never understood it. But now, as he said those words, I felt so good… and saying 'yes' to him was the best thing I ever did, in all my life.

Now we are happily married and have two lovely sons. Even today, sometimes Vas and I discuss why fools fall in love. And usually we conclude with, "For the same reason that we did!"