Babloo

Lara took one look at the ugly, disabled child in front of her and puckered her brow. The lines on her forehead grew more prominent, her whole body tensed. She tried hard to fight back tears of frustration as Thomson handed her the document. When she remained motionless, Thomson nudged her gently and thrust the pen into her palm. Lara looked at Thomson in a pleading manner and then looked at the child seated next to him on the makeshift wheelchair.

"Sign," breathed Thomson. Lara obeyed mutely.

A couple of hours later, Lara, Thomson and Babloo were in the shopping mall, purchasing clothes and toys for Babloo. Lara was least interested. Thomson tried hard to involve her in the shopping but she remained cold and unresponsive.

"Why don't we eat ice creams before we leave?" asked Thomson cheerfully. Babloo flashed his ugly, toothless smile.

Lara snapped, "I am not in a mood for it. You guys carry on. I will wait in the car."

Back home, Thomson carried Babloo into the newly renovated playroom that was full of balloons and soft toys. The child was excited and gurgled gaily as he touched the soft, cushiony teddy bears and baby pillows. "Unkil…" he intoned with effort as he looked at Thomson and smiled gratefully.

"No Babloo, call me papa," Thomson said.

"Pey…pey…pe…" Babloo stuttered.

"Ha ha, it's okay; you will learn soon," Thomson said encouragingly, as he ruffled Babloo's hair.

Lara was wordlessly witnessing the whole scene, standing by the door. When Thomson looked at her, she looked away, and pretended not to have noticed.

At dinnertime, Lara looked extremely upset. She did not utter a word. She kept picking at her food and finally excused herself from the table and went into the bedroom.

Thomson found Lara weeping when he entered the bedroom after tucking Babloo in bed in the adjacent room. He laid a gentle hand on Lara's shoulder. She pushed him away with a disgusted expression and looked at him accusingly. Thomson began, "Lara, I am sorry. But I had to do it. I could not bear to see that child suffer…"

"Yeah, you can't bear anyone's suffering, except mine! Now look what you have done! You have burdened me with the responsibility of looking after a disabled, spastic bundle of misery! What will people say? They will laugh at me. I will be ridiculed, looked down upon…all because of you and your wonderful ideas," she spat sarcastically.

"Lara…" Thomson began softly, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" she shrieked and stomped out of the room.

In the seven years of their married life, Lara and Thomson had had many a bickering. Thomson had grown used to it. Often he attributed her violent mood swings to PMS and sympathized with her. He was very patient with Lara, for he knew that she would finally understand and come back to him with an apology. Thomson loved her in spite of her short temper. She was an amazing woman. She worked very hard and was always in control. She worked for a big multinational company and was in charge of two departments. She was dynamic and independent.

She was very caring too, and often went out of the way to help people. She was a great cook. She regularly organized informal parties, as she loved socializing. She was a good hostess, a great wife, and a successful career woman. Sometimes he would tease her by calling her superwoman and would kid about her wearing the panty over her clothes.

What more could Thomson ask for? But…

She never allowed anyone to see those terrible wounds that she nursed in solitude. Only Thomson knew and understood her pain. She had always wanted a child of her own, just like any other woman. She wanted to be a mother. But nature had been cruel to her. Though she had been bestowed with beauty and brains, she had been deprived of the pleasure of bearing a child. She was infertile.

Visits to hundreds of gynaecologists had yielded no results. A myriad examinations, innumerable scans and tests had confirmed their worst fear. Lara would never conceive. She had been totally shattered at that time. Thomson had supported her emotionally and physically, when she had gone into severe depression. With time, she had recovered from her depressed state and resumed her routine life.

Things were going on well, until one day Thomson proposed that they adopt a child. Lara had been very reluctant initially, but a lot of coaxing by Thomson finally made her consent. But when she saw the child Thomson had chosen to adopt, she was crestfallen. She resisted vehemently. But Thomson persisted. He tried all possible tactics to convince Lara, but when she did not budge from her stance, he decided to go ahead with the adoption.

And that's how Babloo had come home. Babloo was barely four years old. He was lame on one foot and was spastic. He had a twisted nose and squinted eyes that made him look hideously ugly. Perhaps that was what made his real mother abandon him on a railway platform in Kolkata four years ago.

Babloo had trouble speaking coherently and laughed in a weird, eerie manner. Lara had hated him at first sight.

"Oh, God! What a sight!" she had exclaimed. But Thomson had made up his mind. His obstinacy amazed her. He had never been so obsessive before. And she had been virtually forced to sign the adoption papers.

"You are doing a wonderful thing," the secretary at Omashram orphanage had cooed. "If all couples were as humane as you, no such orphan would be left to suffer in loneliness."

Lara had rolled her eyes and pouted at this comment, but fortunately no one had noticed at the time. But now, being tied down to such a big responsibility, Lara felt helpless and frustrated. Thomson would never understand her.

"Lara… Lara darling!" Thomson was chirping excitedly.

"Now what?" wondered Lara as she opened the door. Wiping her hands on her apron, Lara took the envelope that Thomson handed her eagerly. She ripped it open and her face fell. "Special school?" She read the details on the letter and tossed it on the table as she went back into the kitchen, with a look of apathy. Her detached disposition angered Thomson. But he remained silent.

That night over dinner, Thomson explained to Babloo that he would attend school from the next day. Babloo smiled in his usual weird style and stuttered, "Sh…sh…kuul."

A few days passed uneventfully. Lara had engaged domestic help to 'assist' her in getting Babloo ready for school everyday. In fact, Lara barely did anything for him. She avoided him as much as she could. And in doing so, she ended up distancing herself from Thomson too. One night, Thomson came in late to find Babloo sitting in front of the TV, tears in his eyes. The remote had fallen off the table as a result of Babloo's unsuccessful attempts at reaching it. The unhappy child was sobbing, as Thomson scooped him up in his arms and wiped his tears. He stomped into the bedroom to find Lara already fast asleep. He did not have the heart to wake her. Instead, he went for a stroll with Babloo. He then fed the child and tucked him in bed.

He then went into the bedroom and was surprised to see Lara awake. She looked at him scornfully. He tried to touch her but she moved away. It was so long since they had shared any intimacy. He missed making love to her. Of late Lara had begun to seem like a stranger. Thomson attempted foreplay but her body language suggested that she was not in the mood for it. Thomson felt defeated. He sighed, turned his back to Lara, and tried to sleep.

It was Saturday evening. "Rest at last," thought Lara as returned home earlier than usual. She walked into the house to find the maid trying to feed Babloo. She gestured for the maid to leave. Then she walked up to him. Babloo looked at her with dread in his eyes. He had always been scared of her for he had sensed the loathing she had for him.

Lara hissed venomously, "Why did you come here?"

Babloo's squinted eyes filled with tears. "I wee… wee… weel go away…" he stammered.

Suddenly Lara's heart lurched in her chest. She felt a pang of guilt, looking at the small, deformed creature in front of her, who was saying he would go away because she hated him. Because she rejected him. Tears welled in her eyes.

She knelt beside him and took his hand in hers. "I have been very mean to you, haven't I?" she asked softly. Her voice was choked with emotion.

"N… n… no, ma… ma… mama…" said Babloo.

"Mama…" it felt so good to hear the child call her mama. Lara burst into tears.

That night, Thomson was surprised to see Lara smiling. He said nothing. As he turned off the lights, he felt Lara snuggling close to him. He was surprised. He quickly turned the light on, and perching himself on one elbow, looked at her. She smiled again. Then she whispered, "Thomson, I love you."

"I love you too," whispered Thomson as he pulled her close and kissed her.

The next morning, Lara was up and about much earlier than usual. Thomson asked her, "Lara, anything special today?"

Lara replied, "Yes. I am taking Babloo to a specialist. He is a friend of mine who has done a lot of research with spastic children. When I spoke to him, he said he would give our Babloo a thorough check up and see what can be done to make him normal."

Two hours later, Lara was in the waiting room of the nursing home. Babloo was sitting on her lap, gurgling happily. A few minutes later, he fell asleep in her arms. Looking at the baby sleeping peacefully in her arms, Lara suddenly felt something pulling at her heartstrings. The innocent child kindled strange feelings within her. She had hated this kid so much. She had been mean to him. Cruel, in fact. But the child had been so magnanimous that he had forgiven her without so much as a second thought. When she had hugged him for the first time, Babloo had hugged her back so tightly that she felt truly loved. He had made her feel whole again. The terrible wounds in her heart seemed to have miraculously healed.

Babloo's love was unconditional and uncontaminated. He expected nothing in return. He loved her in spite of all the mean things she had said to him. And he had called her Mama. The love she had seen in Babloo's eyes had told her, 'I accept you the way you are. Even though you hated me, I loved you. I still do.'

The nurse tapped Lara's shoulder, bringing her out of her reverie with a jolt. "Doctor will see you now," she said.

"Thanks, sister," Lara smiled warmly and walked into the doctor's chamber, carrying the sleeping child.

"Hello, Lara! Good to see you. Sit down," Dr. Thomas said. "So, what do we have here?" he enquired, looking at the infant in Lara's arms. Lara explained how she and Thomson had adopted Babloo and went on to tell the doctor how difficult Babloo found it to speak.

The doctor said, "Hmm… well, we could have a speech therapist help Babloo talk properly. As for his disfigured nose, squint eyes and other disabilities…" he broke off.

"What about them, doctor?" asked a nervous Lara.

Dr. Thomas laughed. He got up from his chair, walked over to Lara, and patting her on the shoulder, said, "We could work on that too, Lara dearest. It would just take half a dozen surgeries and would cost you anywhere between 4 to 20 lakhs. And of course, the child will go through a great deal of agony. But two years from now, he will be 70% normal."

"What?" Lara blurted. Half a dozen surgeries? All that pain, all that suffering… Suddenly Lara got up. "Doctor…" she began, "I have learnt from this child that true love is all about acceptance. I have been blind all along. I have missed out on so many things already. I can't be so cruel as to put this baby… no, MY baby through all that torture. I'd rather let Babloo be as he is. Because I have begun to love him the way he is. Thanks for your time, doctor." And she walked out.

She hailed a taxi and wriggled into the rear seat, clutching the sleeping Babloo close. She planted soft kisses on his little cheeks and watched him sigh in his sleep. And then she let the mother in her take over. She hugged him tightly and whispered in his ears, "I love you so much."