The Five Rupee Note

"Sorry madam, I can't take this five rupee note," said the shopkeeper nonchalantly as he returned it to her. "Our customers are extremely fussy and would never take that 'dilapidated' note from us."

"Oh, please! I don't have any other change with me right now. I only have a five-hundred-rupee note!" she exclaimed.

He looked at her dispassionately and said, "Give me the five hundred rupees. I will give you change."

She trudged back to the bus stop cursing the brusque shopkeeper mentally. After a seemingly long wait, the overcrowded bus arrived. Following a physical tussle with the unruly crowd, in which her immaculately ironed clothes got completely crushed, she finally managed to get catapulted into the bus, thanks to an oversized woman in a gaudy pink sari.

She heaved a sigh of relief as she finally perched herself along the back of a seat and dug into her handbag for change. She fished out the five-rupee note as the conductor squawked "Tickets, Tickets," right into her enervated ears.

She handed the note to him. He blew the shrill whistle as he took the note from her. She smiled smugly. Suddenly, the conductor raised the note above his head and squinted to examine it. Then he shook his head. He thrust it back into her hand and said, "Sorry madam, I can't take this note. It's in a bad condition. Please give me a coin."

Her smile faded. She said, "But that's the only change I have," and batted her eyelids at him innocently.

"Then get down at the next stop," he growled.

She had little choice but to get off the bus, hurling insults of all kinds at the imprudent conductor. She put the fussy five rupee note back in her handbag and scratched her head. A handsome young man standing beside her smiled. At once she stopped scratching her head and smiled back at him awkwardly. Just then another bus came by and she got in. This time, she did not want to take any chances, so handed the conductor a decent tenner. She took the ticket from him and sighed.

She was late to office, thanks to all the happenings of the morning. She hurriedly went to her desk, placed her bag on it and turned her computer on. It was 10.15 a.m. and her stomach was growling. She had skipped breakfast that morning since she wanted to diet. She was on a million dollar 'lose-weight-now' spree. She checked her mail and groaned, as there were eleven clarifications from clients and a reprimand note from the HR department for coming in late for more than three consecutive days.

She tried to focus on the monitor but alas! The first clarification was about bread and peanut butter. Her growling stomach was literally screaming now, and she decided to buy something to eat rather than battle with her stomach. She rang for the office boy. She handed him the five rupee note saying, "Renju, please buy a potato bun for me," and flashed her dazzling smile. "Yes madam!" and he was gone.

Ten minutes later, Renju was back. "Where's the bun?" she asked him.

"Madam, that baker refused to take this note because it is badly damaged. Please give me another note and I will fetch your bun."

She let out an exasperated groan as she snatched the note from his outstretched hand and thrust a ten rupee note in it. "Make it fast," she snarled.

While Renju was gone, she picked up the five rupee note and examined it. It was badly damaged indeed. On one side of it, there was just cello tape. On the other, there was a piece of red insulation tape on which "Manju" was scrawled in bad handwriting. The number "5" that proclaimed the denomination of the note was virtually invisible and the note had a strange smell. She brought it close to her nostril and immediately regretted it. She decided to give it away to the waiter as tip that afternoon. At last the much-awaited potato bun arrived and she hogged on it. Her colleague watched her let out a contented burp as she polished off the last bit of the bun.

Came lunchtime, and she went to her usual haunt with two of her colleagues. They laughed and chatted as usual, till the bill came. She reached into her handbag to perform the mission impossible. Proudly she pulled out the mutilated five rupee note and gingerly placed it on the bill. Then she pretended to chat casually with her friends. The waiter came and took the tray with the bill and the money on it. She let out a sigh of relief and told her friends, "At last, I've gotten rid of that wretched five rupee note!"

Barely two minutes later the waiter returned saying, "Madam, please give another note. The cashier refuses to take this one." All of a sudden, they seemed to be engulfed in an uncanny silence. Then she let out a loud sigh as she took the note back and placed a coin in its place.

Back at office, she felt frustrated. It was almost like she had wedded that darn note and now she wanted to divorce it but it was adamant about staying within wedlock. The simile made her laugh. She decided to give it one last shot that evening.

Again, all her efforts at getting rid of the note proved fruitless. The following day, her friend said, "Give me that note. I'll see where I can get rid of it."

Three days later, her friend returned the note to her saying exasperatedly, "Forget it! I think the temple is the best place to put that note. At least God wouldn't return it!"

But she was not about to give up. She said, "Hey, I have to take a few photocopies. Let's try giving it there."

With seemingly unshakeable determination, she marched to the shop and gave the papers for copying. When it was done, she handed the five rupees to the boy saying, "Keep the change," and flashed her smile.

As she was about to walk away, the boy called, "Madam! I can't take this note! If you don't have change, then pay me the next time. You keep coming here quite regularly." And he flashed a toothless smile back at her.

This was the limit! She had run out of ideas to get rid of the note. Even the waiter had refused to accept the note as a tip! What impudence!

A couple of days later, she looked very excited. Her friend asked her, "Hey, what's the matter? You look very happy today! Did your boyfriend gift you something?"

She replied with a twinkle in her eye, "No, I finally managed to get rid of that nasty five rupee note!" Then the two of them had a hearty laugh over the five rupee episode and went out for lunch.

They had a delicious lunch and she contentedly placed a hundred-rupee note on the bill and handed it to the waiter. Five minutes later, he returned with the change.

And lo! The same five rupee note, with the cello tape on one side, the insulation tape on the other, and "Manju" written on it, landed on her table!