Evidently, I was stressed. Beleaguered. Miserable. And I could feel myself slipping into depression again. That too, at an alarming pace.

I knew had to do something about it. I did not want to become a wreck again. It had happened to me in the past. I had battled with severe clinical depression for seven months. Frequent visits to the psychiatrist, weekly sessions with the counselor and heavy doses of tranquilizers had gradually restored me to normalcy.

But it had been a struggle. It had taken tremendous amounts of perseverance on the part of the doctors who were treating me. Their indefatigability had amazed me. Besides, my parents had been radically supportive. They had gone through agony too. But they had never once complained. They had accepted the situation gracefully and had fought with me. They had understood what I was going through and had empathized. And that had given me the courage to press forward.

And now, I felt it again. The same helplessness. The same quandary. Added to it was my fear of having to combat a similar situation all over again. I was not sure if I could withstand another round of psychiatric treatment. It had been painful, to say the least. I had been put through a series of electrical shock therapies with increasing intensities during each sitting. Subsequently, I had to undergo physiotherapy to activate my numbed limbs. I had cried myself hoarse during those sessions. A vivid recollection of that pain shot through me like a million volts of electric current.

"NO!" I uttered involuntarily. The tears came gushing down my cheeks. I had no clue where I was headed. But I just knew I was not in the right direction. The desperation was mounting with the need for reassurance monstrously gnawing at the back of my mind.

I picked up the receiver and dialed. The phone kept ringing. Suddenly I realized it was a Sunday. The clinic would be closed. I put the receiver back in its cradle and sat in quiescent retrospection. It had been a terrible experience. But at the end of it I had emerged a stronger individual. Along the way, I had learnt many lessons, albeit the hard way. One of those lessons was to take control of my own life and make my own decisions. But it had been a long time since I had made any decision at all, let alone a sensible one.

How long could I keep running to someone for help? It was high time I grew up. But try as I might, I could not get myself to face the situation alone. I called Shila.

"Hey, Madhu! What a surprise!! How have you been?" she chirped gaily.

"I am fine," I lied.

"But you sound ill…" she always found out when something was wrong. She had been my friend since school days. And no one knew me better. Shila was a frank and openhearted person. She was extremely straightforward and never 'polished up' the things that she said. She did not care much about diplomacy, but she was a genuine well-wisher.

"Shila, I…" I began with uncertainty in my voice.

"Madhu, is everything ok? Why don't you come over for tea? We could talk about it if you feel like, or we could just catch up on old times," she said earnestly.

"Ok, Shila. I will see you at 3," I accepted her invitation eagerly. I felt that it would do me good to meet Shila and talk things over.

At 3 sharp, I was at Shila's door. She was surprised. I had always enjoyed the reputation of being the "late latif." She gestured me to come in and said with a twinkle in her eye, "I think something's seriously wrong Madhu, you are on time!"

I managed a weak smile. At once, Shila's expression changed to one of concern. "What's wrong, Madhu?"

"I…" I began slowly, but burst into tears before I could say anything.

"Calm down, Madhu. And here, drink some water," she handed me a glass of cold water.

Then Shila sat down next to me and said softly, "Madhu, don't worry. I think I know why you are so upset."

I looked at her through my tears. I was confused. How could she know when I had not discussed it with anyone?

Looking at my puzzled expression, she went on, "It's your job, right?"

I nodded. Stupidity was writ large on my face. She continued, "I think you must just give it up. How long can you take this shit? You are a talented woman. You are capable of getting a decent job anywhere! So why put up with Vardhan and his obscenity?"

"B… but how do you know?" I asked insipidly.

"Oh, come on Madhu! Half the town is talking about you and you are asking me how do I know?" she retorted candidly.

I was shocked. And hurt. I was the main gossip in town and had been totally unaware of it! I started to cry again.

"Calm down, Madhu. And listen to me carefully," said Shila.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and looked at her pleadingly.

"Put in your papers tomorrow," she said in a matter-of-fact manner.

"B… but then, my commitments… my liabilities…" I stuttered.

"Relax. You are not going to be jobless the very next day. Your resignation will be to serve a notice of 30 days as per your employment terms. So, while you are on notice period, look for another job. And for God's sake girl, give yourself a makeover. You look like you are just out of Somalia. And for some strange reason, you seem to have quit trimming your hair and doing your eyebrows too!"

I looked at her in amazement. Here I was struggling to regain my composure and Shila was rattling off about my eyebrows! I got up to leave. Shila quickly restrained me saying, "Madhu, give me a minute. I'll be right back, and then we can leave together."

I did not understand what she meant by 'leave together'. But I silently stayed put. In a few minutes, Shila was back with her handbag. "Let's go!" she chirped and pulled me along as she stepped out of the door.

A few minutes later, I found myself at Rajni's beauty Parlor. I looked at Shila for an explanation. She just smiled. Then she spoke to the lady at the parlor.

All at once, I was shoved towards the mirror and made to sit on a high chair. The lady wrapped a Rexene sheet around me and deftly started snipping at my hair with her scissors. I was about to protest, but held myself back. She then did my eyebrows and set my hair.

"That'll be 80 rupees, ma'am," I heard her state brusquely as she walked over to the next customer.

All this while, I had kept my eyes shut tight, out of fear of screaming. I slowly opened my eyes to look at the mirror, and was surprised to see a pretty young girl staring back at me.

"Is this me?" I exclaimed.

"Of course it is!" replied Shila. She had paid the bill and was waiting for me to join her at the exit.

I slowly got off the high chair and walked up to her. "Shila I," I began.

She gestured me not to say anything, and led me towards a boutique. She said, "Pick any 2 dresses of your choice. It's on me!"

I could not digest it. "But Shila," I protested. She gave me a stern look and admonished me saying, "Just do as I say. No buts."

That marked the end of any further conversation. I meekly selected two elegant designer suits and Shila paid for them. I was very quiet as we walked back to the auto stand.

Shila said, "Madhu, with this new look you are going to make a new beginning. Scrap Vardhan from your life. And move on. There's more to life than just this job. A boss who harasses his lady staff sexually is definitely not to be put up with! If I were you, I would have resigned long back. But even now it is not too late. So, just put everything behind you and start afresh."

Back home, I got busy getting my certificates out and dusting my old file containing the testimonials. It had been long since I had even looked at these documents. Now, looking at the merit certificate brought back old memories. And a fresh bout of tears. I had been a bright student in college. And now I was wasting my potential, stuck in a vicious circle with a boss of loose character and trite colleagues who did not dare say a word against Vardhan. I had had enough. I made up my mind that I would give up this wretched existence and get on with my life.

I put in my papers the next day, much to Vardhan's consternation. He tried to persuade me to stay, but I was determined to break free. I gave him the cold shoulder and walked away. Then I began to send in my applications at various companies in the city.

As Shila had said, I got the first job I applied for. And at much better terms too. The environment in the new company was entirely different from my previous job. People were so friendly, and cooperative. And everyone worked hard. Team spirit reigned supreme.

I began to enjoy every moment of it. I began to smile again. And what's more, I felt genuinely happy after a long time. With my new look and the new job, I felt like a new person altogether. The makeover did wonders to my confidence. I started to live again. I started going out and having fun. My life took a new turn.

Ever since then, I have used Shila's strategy of giving myself a makeover every time I get depressed. I go in for a new wardrobe, or just get a new hairdo. And it helps. No more psychiatric counselors. And no tranquilizers. I can now make my own decisions, and take care of myself. I have learnt to handle depression in a whole new way! And I owe it all to Shila, who must be watching me from Heaven* and smiling. Thank you Shila, for everything - you gave me a new life. May your soul rest in peace.

*Shila died in a road accident six months ago.