The Bald and the Beautiful

Three years ago, a couple of my juniors decided to go bald. No explanations were given or asked for. They simply walked into college one morning sporting fancy hats and two of them even had their heads painted with exquisite designs. We were all either amused or curious for a closer view. The management wasn't pleased, however. Their book of rules had mentioned just how short the skirts could be, or that shorts and sleeveless tops were forbidden. But they had certainly never imagined that their students would go the "Nafisa Ali / Persis Khambata" way. But there was nothing they could do.

The bald men in my family, however, enjoyed the story with relish.

Their retaliatory tactics till then had been, "Gandhi was bald, so what?" or "So what, bald men are sexy." Now it was, "I've set the trend. Just go look up the women in that college!"

We seldom think about the bald. But we have heard numerous horror stories of jokes that the horizontally challenged have to deal with. God forbid you have a brother, for he is sure to have mastered the art of telling all the fat jokes created by mankind. The vertically challenged on the other hand have to put up with stale jokes like, "Hey pal, how is the weather down there?" to which they simply smile and say, "All good things come in small packages."

Now maybe we'll concentrate on the bald.

To his horror a cousin discovered one morning that maybe he was really going bald. The family teased him with gay abandon, till most of his hair had dropped. After being told that if he stood under the sun for long enough we could fry eggs on his head, he began getting hair oil and combs for presents. Outwardly he never showed signs of being offended. If you teased him about it, he would tease you about something else. But despite being seemingly indifferent to these jokes, he tried different Ayurvedic oils that promised a sudden spurt of thick hair. But he had no luck; and as he grew wiser, he realised that it didn't really matter as long as he was okay with it. And predictably we ran out of "bald" jokes and he ceased to be an object of amusement.

But sadly enough not all are as comfortable about being bald as my cousin was. I met someone who was going to the US for an operation that sounded more like farming. The roots would be planted on his head, and after a period of time, he would have naturally growing healthy hair. More than the description of the procedure itself, I was taken in by the enthusiasm on his face. He wanted hair so badly. To think I take my hair for granted.

I never saw him after his operation, but I did hear about his hair much later from an acquaintance. The operation had been a success.

Most of the time I'm oblivious to whether someone has hair or not. I'm sure none of us really give it any thought when we meet someone. But it becomes difficult not to notice a balding man, who has carefully combed the hair from the sides to the top. Is he trying to cover his bald spot and make it seem like he isn't bald? This I find hilarious and such people find themselves as protagonists in several humorous ads.

Quite a few of our film stars are also going bald. Compare the hunky Salman Khan in his various films and you'll notice a decreasing amount of hair with each film. Perhaps this is why he chose to divert our attention from his head, by shedding his clothes. But Akshaye Khanna on the other hand made the most of this balding situation and came out with a new hairdo in Dil Chahta Hai. I remember watching the film with a couple of friends, and later, many of the boys were getting their hair cut that short. Some trendsetter, eh!

Some people prefer wearing wigs. I consider this a risky option. What if you chose to go out on a particularly windy day? What if a certain bird took a fancy to your head? Scary!

But then not everyone is naturally bald. Quite a few people who fall prey to the dreaded cancer often lose their hair during chemotherapy. Some of them accept their new look pretty well, while others take to wearing wigs and colorful scarves. And at times like this, they are doing it more for themselves than for anyone else. Wearing a wig or scarf, they go through life pretending to the outside world that life is normal and that they are not battling death.

Sometimes I almost wonder if life would be a lot easier without hair. Perhaps I'd enjoy not having to oil, shampoo and condition my hair. Ideally I'd prefer a scenario when before dashing out of my house I'd simply have to open a cupboard and choose an appropriate hat or scarf. By shaving off my hair I'd at least be able to say goodbye to bad hair days. And I do believe the shape of my head is interesting, so maybe it will suit me after all. But then, this is just a thought.

To shave or not to shave?!