Father To Son - I
N.K. Ramanuja Iyengar to N.R. Venkatachari

Thanjavur, 16th November 1878

Dearest Son,

Safe. I pray to God that this letter finds you in the pink of health. Your mother constantly worries your wife may not take as good care of you as your mother does and upon her insistence I beseech you to confirm your mother's worst fears in a letter. I trust Abhishegam caters to your needs with great care but your mother cannot be convinced otherwise. She is too sick to trouble you or your wife with a visit anyway and will attain the lord's lotus feet only convinced of your misery at your wife's ineptitude.

I however do not write today to pander to your mother's insecurities or trouble you with her poor health; your mother might yet recover from both maladies if the lord is kind to us. My concern is for you and the future. I have had little to do these last few years since my self-imposed retirement, if I may call it that, and hence have spent my time thinking. I have pondered upon many things and wish to trouble you with those that I think are necessary for you to be aware of. My time will soon come and when I am gone, your brothers will look upon you, since you are the eldest, for the guidance that I have offered you all thus far. It is good to be religious and leave to the gods our fates but there are ways in which we can help divinity take care of our frail lives. I wish for you to be able to get the best out of life and it is with these concerns in mind that I write today.

I have always believed that there is but one thing constant in life and that is change. Change is slow to come upon us but it creeps with unfailing certainty and if one is not prepared one may find one's self trapped in anachronisms, unable to move forward or upward. In my years I have had both the fortune and the misfortune to witness many things not the least of them all, the white kings that have come to rule us. Every one of my fortunes or misfortunes has taught me an invaluable lesson and I would rather you not experience them all to learn the same lessons.

The white men, who trade off our lands and depend on us for their prosperity, build armies of our people and deny us the freedom to govern ourselves. It is indeed an irony that we invited this scourge upon ourselves and worse still is the fact that you and I serve it. If the kings and emperors of yore had not trusted these foreigners implicitly we would not have to suffer the indignity that we do now. Perhaps if there had not been so many ambitious or greedy kings and emperors we might still be free men. I know it is not in my time that we will be rid of them but there is still hope for your lifetime, but remember, never make the mistake your forefathers did - Never make a friend against your ilk and never assume to be better than your equals.

On the other hand you will also do well to remember one important thing - For now, your master is the white man, earn his respect if he will offer it. It will take better men than you or me to get rid of him and until such men appear serve your master well for there is little peace or prosperity in swimming against the current. Keep the future and your sons in mind when a patriotic thought comes to you. The sacrifices you choose to make will not be yours alone, your family will have to make the same sacrifices. Do not give up a responsibility you have already accepted for another no matter how they may weigh in comparison. It will do you in good stead to not fear being seen as a coward, for it is bolder to make your own decisions than those governed by society's norms.

I have often found that men can be shortsighted and together with the strong emotions that people like us can have, quite often decisions are made in haste and bravado. It is now a time for caution and now more than ever you must remember that the immediate future is bleak and so all your decisions must keep the distant future in mind too.

I believe I have always taught you to work hard, be religious and depend on God to take care of what you cannot. I trust I have inculcated all the right conservative principles in you as I have in your brothers. Always keep in mind your abilities and your limitations. Never try to reach for the skies when you do not bear wings. At the same time try to help your children the way I hope I have helped you. Try to pin wings on them so that they may soar farther than you can jump. You may not achieve greatness and fame in your lifetime but that will only be because I was not able to offer you and your brothers what you can now offer your children. Change may be certain but with it, it brings improvement. Give your children the best in life that you can afford and one day they will do you proud as you have done me so far. A man's achievement is as much in him as it is in his children. Fear not to deny yourself to provide for your children for a seed today will be a tree that bears fruit tomorrow.

Dear son, I have said as much as I thought necessary but there is one last thing that I must tell you - life has many meanings but the most important one of them tells you that today is as much in tomorrow as it is in today. For without a good tomorrow to work towards, all your todays are wasted. Do not ever fail to relish a moment simply because it did not earn you a great memory. If it earns you a great future then you will have something to look forward to rather than something to look back upon. Blessings.

Your loving father,
N.K. Ramanuja Iyengar.