Father To Son - II
N.R. Venkatachari to N.V. Sampath

Thanjavur, 13th April 1912

Dear Sampath,

Safe. I trust this letter finds you in good health and cheer. Please give my love to Vaidehi and the young ones. I miss them all very much. Now that my hour has come I very much want to be with you but my failing health does not permit me to travel. How is Raghavan's education coming along? Madras is a good place for children to grow up, continue even the girls' education at least until they are ready to be married. Anyway I guess I'm forgetting Andal is already 15 and ready to be a bride. I hope you have her wedding plans in mind. I would like to see at least her marriage. My father once told me many years ago, change creeps slowly upon you with time and although I have always been prepared for change I am still surprised when I see my grandchildren all so grown up and ready to face the world. That is something I've realized - you can never be too prepared for anything. God anyway has his ways of creating uncertainties in the most planned of lives.

Although I'm not a very old man, my years have exacted their price upon me. Your mother is reluctant to face it but I think there is very little time left for me. My horoscope anyway does not predict the longest of lives and I think I'm prepared for death. Your grandfather was a wise man and although he was only a cook he made sure I was more and I must say my brothers and I are all very proud of him. But you may not feel as proud of me when I'm gone and not without good reason. I've tried to give you the best upbringing possible for a person in my position and if there have been any failures on my part I must ask you to forgive an old man burdened by responsibilities and saddened by the loss of two sons. I'm sorry to be reminding you of my woes but I always have felt I could have done better still for you if I had not let my losses numb my mind and heart. I am still not able to get over Raghavan's demise and at what age that. Raghavan was only 29 when he passed away and I had very high hopes for him, but it was God's will that I should light his pyre rather than he mine.

I know you have always had problems with the constant travelling throughout the years but my job was such that it is not until the last few years that I have been able to finally settle down. Sampath, I want you to understand that I had only the best interests of my children at heart and we had to move from city to city so many times because the job I held was the best I could find and I had to follow my white lord everywhere he went. I didn't enjoy interrupting your lives so often but at that time I felt it was in your best interests. I have now chosen to return to the place of my birth so my life would come full circle but perhaps I should have done that before. I wish I could leave with all ends tied neatly but such is life that I am destined to leave with so many disappointments. But let me not depress you with my pain.

Sampath I see so many people from our past now that I'm back in Thanjavur and not many seem to have been spared disappointments of their own. My father in his wisdom did predict a bleak future and he asked me to live a life for my children so that their future might be better. I assure you Sampath, I have tried hard and I have lived my life completely in what I have felt were your best interests. I made one grave mistake though, I tried hard to please my employer and I was totally blind to the fact that the man had no respect for our kind. Gopal who used to work with me was in Thanjavur recently for his brother's daughter's wedding. He is one of the few I know who have done well in their careers and life and I can only say I'm very happy for his prosperity. When he left his job I thought he was being shortsighted and impetuous but he is now a very successful man. Gopal lives in Madras now with his son Varadan and he tells me he is active as ever in his textile trade. Varadan apparently is working with his father and things look very good for them. I admire Gopal for his courage in leaving a bad job and starting out on his own. I wonder what might have been if I had had the same courage. I refused to leave my employer, despite the humiliation of working for him, simply because I dared not spoil your lives. It now looks like my caution has worked against me. Sampath, Gopal tells me he might be able to help you if you want. You can approach him for any help if you need or in the least can always visit him. Gopal is a good man and I should have accepted his offer of help a long time ago. I think you should approach him; he will definitely be able to help you.

Sampath, my father once said that life teaches us many things and one of them is that we must work hard towards a better future. I do believe that we must keep the future in mind but one should not look so far as to lose sight of the present. You are an intelligent man I am sure you will not make the same mistakes you father has committed. Take good care of your children but also take equally good care of yourself. What's best for you will also be best for them. I pray to God for a good life for you. My heartfelt blessings.

Your loving Father,
N.R. Venkatachari.