Every Sunday at about nine o'clock, the Adyar Times newspaper is slipped under our door. The newspaper promises to be a guide to all the activities in our locale. It makes for good though slightly frivolous reading, but sometimes has a few literary gems tucked inside. In the same paper, I saw an ad for Miss South Madras 2001, queen of the new millennium, or some such tagline. The ambit of beauty contests seems to have got smaller and smaller. It used to be only Miss World and Miss Country - now we have Miss Small-locality and Miss Colony. A bit like the Adyar Times.

What I like most about such focussed newspapers is the number of ads they carry. I am a self-confessed ad junkie, my eyes typically pass over big headlines (Osama who?) and come to rest on obscure boxes of spiel. It is a fun hobby, almost an exercise in humour. Of course, the single biggest source of amusement are the matrimonial ads. Every Sunday, the better half and I devour the Hindu matrimonial supplement, which is replete with men who have 3-letter degrees and 5-digit salaries, and women with a "modern outlook but traditional values." One guy even wanted a woman with "a professional career, if in IT industry then Infosys preferred!"

We always thought this was an Indian phenomenon, driven by the arranged marriage concept. That was until I read an Australian tabloid sent by a relative.

It had a section called "Connections." There are numerous ads from men and women seeking "relationships" ranging from friendship to ones that are more permanent. The descriptions, you ask? Well, you could call our Indian ads minimalistic in comparison. While we restrict ourselves to a few choice, albeit repeated adjectives, the Aussies really dredge up the thesaurus. The men are "lively, humorous, active, sporty, good-looking, well-read, classy and intelligent." The women seem to be "pleasant, kind, witty, beautiful, vivacious, outgoing and well-dressed." I'm serious - they each claim to have *all* these traits. One interesting clause was a woman who wanted no "antique-lovers." Makes you wonder, that...

But the best part is yet to come. There is a column with the unsubtle title of "I Saw You" - make no mistake, the name is literal. The column is for people who, ahem, "spot" interesting (read attractive) looking people at parties or anywhere else and want to "know them better." One entry went, "I saw you at the blahblah pub. You were wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a black dress. At the end, you even danced. I thought of you all the way home. Do call me at 100434." It sounded uncomfortably like one of our Hindi movies - I could almost hear Govinda sing, "What is your style number, what is mobile number"...Sigh!