"Can I trust
you?" I was suddenly dumbfounded, because it had come up in the middle
of a talk, while strolling. I had wanted to stop and stare. (I guess eyes
are deeper than oceans when they want to convey something). I could not
see clearly; it was over an hour past dusk. But almost instinctively,
I could sense a sincere anticipation and a strong child-like hope that
was innocent, pure and undaunted, which stayed there like a calm mist-sodden
winter night. I was simply touched. (Every time we are touched so, life
becomes some more beautiful, more purposeful.) There was a current that
pulsated inside me, like a momentary fountain. And I had wanted to absorb
that warm feeling, to soak in that delighting aura, to contain it all
like a precious gift. But I did not want to sound strange, so I said,
"Yes, you can."
"Faith, you see, is always blind," after a brief gap I had tried
to conciliate the hesitation, stressing on every syllable of the word
"always." I had tried to reach beyond the literal meaning, where
"blindness" meant lack of direction and conditions. I was of
the opinion that if faith existed, it did not have to be confirmed.
"But you will
agree, it does take time to inculcate that faith - it demands trust itself
- that time," I was hurriedly counter-struck.
I had felt devoid
of knowledge and words then. I just uttered, "Hmmm
Another smile had
The moment was secretly
celebrated by two smiles that we could not know. And there were questions
that had remained unanswered. It was abrupt. Obviously. Maybe "trust"
was already there, just camouflaged. Had it not been so, there would have
been no desire for any reassurance; but that's only my supposition.
This small incident
stirred me. I was forced to re-analyze "faith." Faith means
belief. That I take every step because I know there would be ground beneath
my feet. That I breathe air - it's because I know it will keep me alive.
That my schoolteacher had taught me "The earth is round," I
know this must have been so. I know, because I believe it to be true.
And it is true because I have faith in it. But the question still waits,
"Is faith blind?" And even if it is so, what good is it going
to do if it fails. Is it foolproof?
We believe in what we can defend. Primarily that which we can defend or
justify to ourselves. Defending it from worldly pressures or giving way
to it are issues to come later; and that's not being considered here.
Well, any faith, inherently, is a "truth" that we know. So let's
discuss truth first. Truth, as we know, is something that does not change.
Well, all instances of truth have a certain life and applicability. The
perception of truth cannot be remembered or learnt. Truth just exists,
and we just discover it, realize it in one altering moment. Now, the existence
of truth is not subject to joy or sorrow, triumph or defeat, or any material
or incorporeal matters. So, having said this much, can we safely draw
a conclusion that truth is unconditional? I assume your answer to be "yes."
Naturally, that would imply - faith is also unconditional.
But someone will walk up to me and say, "I had faith in some XYZ,
but (s)he ditched me. So I do not have that faith anymore." How can
this situation be explained? Let's try. If you do not have that faith
anymore, there can be two possibilities - (1) either you perceive it wrongly
now; or, (2) you had earlier perceived it wrongly. That's obvious. The
first option cannot be helped; let us continue with the second. If you
had earlier perceived it wrongly, then it was just an assumption, a supposition.
But how to distinguish between faith and supposition? And what about the
experience that amounts to deceit, humiliation, dejection, etc? Do I not
know that one such wrong decision may lead to even a whole life being
destroyed? Yep, I do.
Faith has to do with insight, intuition and conscience. You have to look
deep inside to find what you truly feel. Sometimes, the mind strays and
begins to assume more than what the spirit knows. Even the mind ignores
what your inside has already known. That's sheer subtlety. Maybe that
sounds complex (if not complicated), but actually it is simple; it is
the other way round. The only trouble is - you have to kill yourself,
you have to surrender yourself, you have to unite with your inner self.
This fusion is death of two and birth of one. I suppose that's what one
tries to achieve through meditation - I don't know, meditation has never
been my cup of tea.
But no man is perfect, and life is one long struggle towards learning
lessons unendingly, and a sequel of discoveries and experiences. What
we all salvage as our share, that's only subjective. Still, "faith"
in every facet of life forms a basis of living, because we all need our
small share of truth to bank upon. Without faith, the world would have
been a disorderly place, a thorough mess, stripped of harmony and the
spirit of living. Faith is the regulatory layer hidden underneath life,
its accessories and associated processes. And faith alone is the manifestation
of all truth, every knowledge. Without faith, how can we define truth
without being just hypothetical?
All I could ponder
is too little to sum up. We can only argue more and more...
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